One of my favorite traditions in Europe is the way they relish their time at the dining table. I’ve delighted in it over the years–from a restaurant table in Rome, to a friend’s kitchen in a small town outside Madrid, to my  college  apartment in Toulouse . The food, conversation, and wine flow  effortlessly for hours of table-centered pleasure. And always I ask myself  —why doesn’t  this happen in America ? Well it can. –You just need a few  tricks of the  trade and you’ll be ready to enjoy one of the most beloved traditions of the  Mediterranean and Southern Europe . Here are the secrets I use:

1. Invite a small, close group of friends—they don’t all have to know each other, but make sure they will get along well together (as one friend says, no mezclas, don’t mix your friends if it’s not a good fit) and are disposed to interesting conversation. Almost anything goes in European table conversation (see #2 for the one thing not to talk about), politics, sex, art– so long as you do it with a little charm and a little humor.
2. Don’t talk about your work at the table—this is a cardinal rule that most Americans always break. It’s not good juju for flowing conversation and can be a stressor for what should be a relaxing meal. You and your friends won’t feel like going four hours strong—no matter how delicious the food is—if you’re thinking about how you hate about your job or what you need to get done at the office.
3. Plan a multi-course meal—the dishes don’t need to be crazy complicated, in fact, simple can be better, just have an appetizer or two, a light salad, a main course and a cheese or dessert course. Cook things that are in your repertoire and that you can execute with an expert hand. You want the food to delight and satisfy your guests, so pick your best bets within your cooking skill set.
4. Set an elegant but practical table that is aesthetically pleasing without being too formal—you want everyone to feel like they can hang out, not worry about their posture and table manners. Use votive candles on the table and make sure the lighting is low—everyone looks and feels better when the lights are a little dim the candles are burning. Of course, you can always eat al fresco, which would give you the European golden star for the four-hour meal, but make sure it’s warm enough outside and that your guests won’t get cold over dinner.
5. Start slowly. One of my favorite starters is canapés (or “toasties” as I like to call them). For a simple and delicious Catalan recipe, slice a good baguette up, toast or grill it lightly, then rub toasts with olive oil, raw garlic and a tomato and serve face up on a nice platter with some quality prosciutto on the side.
6. Pause between courses. Seriously. No need to rush from the salad course to the main course. Signal to your guests this is how it will work so they don’t get nervous, and then give everyone time to breath, refresh their palette with some wine, and of course, maintain that fascinating conversation.
7. Keep the wine flowing without over-doing it. If you serve good wine (no need to be pricey, there are some excellent options under $20), refill your guests’ glasses throughout the meal, and have a little digestive after dinner, everyone should feel good without getting silly.

(Previously published at http://shine.yahoo.com)